a heart, longing for more of it's Lover.

Archive for the category “My Personal Moments”

Journal Entry: Immovable Rocks

immovable rocks

I went to the lake today to be alone with the Lord. After spending some time talking with Him sitting on top of a picnic table, I wanted to put my feet into the water. I walked around the edge of the lake until I found a place low enough to sit and dangle my feet.

I marveled at the Lord for awhile. I was reminded that the One who controls the waves is the One who gives me life.

The waves were pretty strong today, and I began to focus on how they hit the bank and shot up into the air before receding back into the lake. I was being soaked from my feet all the way up to my knees. Then my attention turned to some rocks on my other side, at the base of the land. The waves hit them with just as much intensity…but even the strongest waves that slammed into the rocks didn’t even cause them to budge. The rocks were immovable.

My mind immediately went to the passage in James that my bible study group has been dwelling in for the past couple of weeks.

“My bretheren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have it’s perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all his ways.” 
James 1:2-8

The waves were like the trials and temptations in life. But he who is aware that those trials produce what we need to be sharpened and asks for wisdom in the trial, in FAITH…he will not be overtaken by the waves. He will be firm. Steadfast. Immovable.

Well, then my mind began to think logically about what my eyes were seeing. Realistically, these rocks weren’t EXACTLY immovable. Over time, as the waves continue to press down, the rocks are slowly worn down, layer by layer. Then my mind went back to the beginning of chapter 1 of James.

“Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have it’s perfect work that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

Those waves are slowly wearing down the rocks but what is being taken away is temporal. When we are in the storm, standing firm in the waves, what the waves wear off of us are the parts that are not perfect and complete…the temporal and fleshly nature. What will be left will be stronger and sanctified — if we keep our eyes on the One who is in control of the waves. He will not allow more than we can handle with the power of His Holy Spirit! ( 1 Corinthians 10:12-13)

So buckle down and be strong. Put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6) so that you can be firm in the toughest storm….and when you are in the storm, trust that God is refining you into a more sanctified and stronger follower of His. If you need wisdom, ask Him. He’ll give it to you. Memorize the promises God gave you in His Word. Then stand on them. That’s why He gave them to you…to help you be firm. He has given you everything you need to be strong. You just have to take advantage of those things and put them to use.

Love and prayers, dear friends!


I know it has been awhile — but I’m still alive :)

So much in my heart and spirit to share with you. First, a personal update.

I have been wanting to sit and blog for awhile, but with working a full time job for my friend’s parent’s business, my photography business, my church, and family issues, I have barely had time to sleep…much less blog. 🙂 The job has finished for the season, so things have drastically slowed down.

God is blessing my photography business. All glory to Him for the sessions scheduled in my planner! Oh how grateful I am for a God who loves and cares for us down to the smallest details in our lives which are as a vapor.

My church family is beyond a blessing and gift from God. The encouragement, growing, learning, laughter, tears, conviction, fellowship, strength, and power that God brings me through the Body of Christ that He has planted me in is changing and challenging me to run harder and faster after Him.

As far as the family, the last three weeks have been tough. My aunt, who is not a follower of Christ, had surgery difficulties. She had a surgery of the stomach and esophagus. She went home, and was feeling pain. When she finally went back in, they found that the tissue wrapped around her stomach had died, and stomach acids were leaking out. Organs were damaged and failing. She had also developed a disease of the blood. My uncle called my mother and the next night she was on a flight to VA. That was almost three weeks ago. The fatigue and disappointment in my mother’s voice is unmistakable over the phone. My aunt began to get better…numbers get better…organs begin healing…and my aunt relapsed. Back in ICU again. Flat-lining without the respirator. She is slowly beginning to respond again, but has no hope. She’s not fighting. Mom says she isn’t herself. Prayers are so very coveted — more than anything, for her salvation…her eternity.

So there’s my update. The good, bad, and ugly – as they say. But glory to God, there is peace in spite of it all. He is that amazing. Joy unspeakable is mine, because my God is in whom my joy rests, and He never changes. Hallelujah.

Since I last posted…

An old year has slipped into history and a new year has come! Another page has turned in our lives. A fresh start, as some would say. Can I just say that I’m thankful the Lord gives us a fresh start every day? That His mercies are new every single morning? (Lamentations 3:22-23) Well…I am. Ever so thankful!

So — as for an update on my life, much has taken place! I won’t bore you with all the details. There was a lovely candlelight service at my church on Christmas Eve to celebrate the Savior. A blessed Christmas day with my Savior. I was able to spend much time with my best friend while she was home from school…including New Year’s Eve and Day. It was a bitter-sweet goodbye as she left to go back to school a few hours away…so very thankful for her friendship.

In other news – I’m starting my very own photography business! Within an hour of posting a status about wanting suggestions for a name for my business, the Lord had set up several appointments! Thanks, God! I am excited about this, because I am always losing my jobs because of mission trips…or struggling with too many hours at work whilst in school. (By the way…the Lord has also been preparing me to go back to the University to obtain my bachelor’s. Yea.) So, I’m hoping to get my work out there for people to see — but also control my own hours…that way I can take a week (or a month, if I so choose) to go out of the country on a mission trip…or keep my hours to a minimum while in school…I can do it without risking my job. 🙂

By the way. I have a facebook fan page. Check it out!

That’s the short version of the highlights of what has been going on since I last posted! ❤

I have had a full heart…so you guys can expect a few posts about what the Lord has had on my heart lately (as time allows!)

Love and prayers, guys!

Just left a funeral

My eyes are swollen and my heart is sensitive. I just left a funeral for one of my great-aunts. Aunt Jewelia. I am not emotional because of a loss – but I am emotional because of the compassion for my great-uncle that overwhelmed me this afternoon. Aunt Jewelia’s husband of 57 years barely responded as I hugged him and told him that we loved him and were praying for him. When I looked into his eyes, they seemed empty. As soon as I stepped back, he slowly maneuvered his motorized wheelchair as closely as he could with the casket that held my aunt, reached out, and wrapped his hand around hers. Gazing at her. Soaking up as much as he could of her before they took her away. My heart broke for him as he said goodbye.


We went into the chapel where the service would be held. Tears escaped my eyes as I listened to her sons testify of her life…both of them struggling to get the words out clearly so that all attendees would understand what a wonderful woman their mother was. Something about grown men breaking down in tears melts and breaks my heart at the same time.

Praise the Lord that we can be confident of the truth that my Aunt Jewelia is rejoicing in His presence even now! Not only is she loving and worshipping her Savior, she is standing beside her son that she lost when he was 22 years of age…over 30 years ago. Thank You, Lord, thank You.

More about my break from social media…

So – the Lord has been convicting my heart – though I long for my facebook and tumblr to be a place of encouragement for the people that are friends/followers, I am guilty of picking up my phone and scrolling mindlessly for too long, when I should be in the Word of God. As I have been asking the Lord to change my heart to be completely infatuated with Him, this has become more and more apparent.

I am not going to delete my facebook because I am connected with so many brothers and sisters from my overseas missions trips…but I feel like it’s time for a facebook hiatus. I don’t know how long this break will last – but Jesus and I are going to take our time.

As for tumblr – somehow that site becomes more and more focused on how many followers you have or how many people “like” or “reblog” your posts. Frustration sometimes mounts as I see pointless, even rude things reblogged and posted thousands of times and the posts that contain truth and life are barely read or looked at. Then, you find that the sweetest Christian brother or sister begins reblogging the junk that gets the attention because they want the notifications and followers. It breaks my heart.
So — there are several things that are on my heart about all of the social media – but the main reason I am “breaking” from it for the time being is because I just want to retreat and spend time solely with Jesus. I want to run after His heart, and I want to rid myself of the things that I am learning are stealing my time. I don’t know how long this break will last, but I just want to take my time with Him.
So, here is where I will be pouring out my heart, recording the things that I feel I am learning and seeking Him about. I’m not planning to really publicize this blog – but if you happen to stumble upon it by accident, proceed at your own caution 😉 You are welcome to pour over my heart cries, and if you ever have any questions about what I blog, you can feel free to contact me 🙂
God bless.

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