a heart, longing for more of it's Lover.

Archive for the month “December, 2012”

I’m in love wit…

I’m in love with God and God’s in love with me. This is who I am, and this is who I’ll be, and that settles it. Completely.

Misty Edwards



Obliterate. This word came up in something I was reading today and it seemed to jump off the screen into my mind. I’ve heard this word before but it’s not a normal part of my vocabulary. I looked it up.

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, to “obliterate” means;
1.) To remove utterly from recognition or memory
2.) To remove from existence : destroy utterly all trace, indication, or significance of
(empasis mine)

Interesting how the top two definitions listed include the word “utterly.” Strong words used here. “Remove,” “destroy,” “utterly,” “all trace, indication, or significance.” Basically, to wipe the existence from ever being known, seen, heard, or experienced.

As I have mulled over this word and it’s meaning I couldn’t help but think what I would like to have “obliterated” from my life. Sure, I could say something like “I would like for my terrible past with my father (or lack thereof) to be obliterated. Wiped from my memory and my heart…leaving behind no trace of pain or any scars from a shattered heart.” Or I could request for my bad choices to be the object of obliteration. “I want the decision I made to gossip about that person to be obliterated. I’d like to capture those negative words and remove them from existence.” In all honesty, those would probably have been answers I would have given a couple of years ago, but I’m learning (still learning) that those are the ways that God brings Romans 8:28 to life. “He works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Without those afflictions, or the consequences of my bad choices – heartbreak, and trials — I would not be as close to Him as I am…and I would not be an effective witness of Who He is; for if I had always had an easy life, how could I tell you that God is a Father to the fatherless? How could I tell you that He truly IS the Friend who sticks closer than a brother? How could I testify to you that He is Healer, Provider, and Savior? Comforter, Peace, Strength, Steadfast Hope, and Love is this God and I can only tell you this because I have been in the desperate moments where He was all I had.

So, no. I do not wish for those things to be obliterated.

I will tell you what I have decided I would obliterate if given the opportunity. The old man. Colossians 3 speaks on these things. (Especially vs 9-10.) We are commanded to put off the “old man.” The old sinful nature. When we become children of God Almighty, we are made new. New creations. New men. Why would we choose to carry around death and sin with us when Jesus already bore them for us and we can walk in His freedom and victory? Yet, we are flesh. We are failing human creatures. To die to the old sinful nature is a decision and choice that we must make multiple times a day.

I do not think that complete obliteration of the sinful nature will be complete until the day that He calls us home — but we should strive to make the choices that will starve the flesh and feed the spirit every single day…being ever thankful for His grace and mercy when we fail…and being ever thankful when we make the right decision…because even the obedience is done in the power of His Holy Spirit. It’s all about Him!

Oh, to choose to die to self and thrive spiritually is not easy, but so, so very worth it. There is nothing sweeter than dwelling with the Word. Jesus.

He is all in all. Everything that we need. Glory to Him.

Just left a funeral

My eyes are swollen and my heart is sensitive. I just left a funeral for one of my great-aunts. Aunt Jewelia. I am not emotional because of a loss – but I am emotional because of the compassion for my great-uncle that overwhelmed me this afternoon. Aunt Jewelia’s husband of 57 years barely responded as I hugged him and told him that we loved him and were praying for him. When I looked into his eyes, they seemed empty. As soon as I stepped back, he slowly maneuvered his motorized wheelchair as closely as he could with the casket that held my aunt, reached out, and wrapped his hand around hers. Gazing at her. Soaking up as much as he could of her before they took her away. My heart broke for him as he said goodbye.


We went into the chapel where the service would be held. Tears escaped my eyes as I listened to her sons testify of her life…both of them struggling to get the words out clearly so that all attendees would understand what a wonderful woman their mother was. Something about grown men breaking down in tears melts and breaks my heart at the same time.

Praise the Lord that we can be confident of the truth that my Aunt Jewelia is rejoicing in His presence even now! Not only is she loving and worshipping her Savior, she is standing beside her son that she lost when he was 22 years of age…over 30 years ago. Thank You, Lord, thank You.

We are preposterous!

I’m realizing that we never “arrive” to the place which we (followers of Christ) strive for until the Lord calls us home or He comes back to receive us unto Himself. This truth is used as an excuse by some, “Well, I know that this is wrong…but I am not perfect. I’m human.” How horrifying that I have allowed that to escape my lips on some
occasions in my life. This is not to be used as any kind of excuse!!! Instead of allowing our fleshly weaknesses to become an excuse to fail, they should push us on to cling to the Savior even more tightly! In those moments we should see our desperate need for Christ! It is then that we should realize even more just how flawed we are and that He is all we have!

Why do we insist on walking away from the One who is all we need to attempt to fill ourselves with the temporal, draining offerings of this world? We scoff and shake our heads at the Israelites who turned from God multiple times even after seeing Him do miraculous works when we are just the same! Our culture is rampant with drugs, sexual immorality, pornography, divorce, affairs, & the lust of the flesh! But as soon as something bad happens, we turn to God and act as if we have been seeking Him with our whole hearts all the while! Why should we expect Him to respond with compassion when we have ignored Him and lived as we pleased until disaster struck?

I cannot imagine how we break God’s heart and even frustrate Him when we walk away from all that He holds out in His hands for us, His children, to pour things into our souls that He knows will damage us tremendously. Can you picture it? The Father, holding love, joy,
peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control in His hands – His hands that are outstretched towards those whom He loves so very much. Healing, provision, stability in Him. Comfort and strength. The child looks into His hand and then turns and reaches for the ways of the world. The empty promises posed by culture that ultimately destroy. The child drinks deep and is eventually overcome
by the pain and brokenness that comes with the consequence. All the while, the Lord is there – still waiting for the child to choose His way…heartbroken because He loves you so and despises the pain you are in because of your foolish decision. Yet He is always a gentleman, never forcing Himself upon any of His children.

Seek to cling tighter to Him. Ask for wisdom and discernment to know what empty cisterns you may be running to – even unaware. You will be surprised what you find with the illumination of the Holy Spirit. The miracle in it all? His unfailing mercies that are new every morning. His love that is unshakable. His promise to never leave or forsake you. His faithfulness in giving you strength each step of obedience that you take along the way.

Glory to God.

Love and prayers.

All or Nothing.

All or Nothing.

I keep coming back to this scripture. “All or Nothing” is a familiar and cliche phrase that we hear from a very young age. However, when the Lord adds that into His Word through the pen of a man inspired by the Holy Spirit, He doesn’t mean it lightly or cliche at all.

How often must I have overlooked this before. This is saying that we either give 100% or we give in vain. Your 87%? It doesn’t matter if it was completed in good efforts…it is in vain. Your 99%? Sure, in math, that rounds up to 100%…but in God’s eyes, it is nothing. If you do not give Him all — you choose to give Him nothing.


God, teach me how to live a life of 100% devotion to You. I want to honor You with every part of my being and all of my life! You are so worthy — and there is none beside You! Change my heart, Oh God. Make it completely transparent and fully on fire for You alone! Be glorified in me! This is my heart’s cry!

So much dancing around in my mind and heart, but unsure how to word them in a blog post just yet. :) Stay tuned!

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